The Animal Kingdom of Republiek van Suid Afrika is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by St Patrick with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, avant-garde cinema, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.224 billion Suid Afrikaners are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pretoria. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Republiek van Suid Afrikan economy, worth a remarkable 2,098 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 98,888 gold bars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard, oxygen is commonly known as 'breathinium', the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, and spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Republiek van Suid Afrika's national animal is the deer, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Republiek van Suid Afrika is ranked 34,754^th in the world and 1^st in Zuid Afrika for Highest Food Quality, scoring 51.15 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.